Why do your kids fight so much, and what to do about it / The Bright Side
Any home with several children can expect loud noises, closed doors, a lot of quarrels and screaming. Children, as siblings, fight for many reasons. They could be hungry, tired, or simply bored with each other. Ask any parent with two or more children and they will agree that arbitration is part of parenting. While siblings battle parental stress, it is normal for siblings to vacillate between adoration and hatred for each other.
Bright Side examined the various reasons why siblings quarrel and the role parents should play in the drama. We also found out the main causes of children’s fights according to science.
1. Know when to step in and when to leave them alone.
Violence, bullying and other signs of physical altercation must be nipped in the bud. No fight can justify hitting each other. But if the controversy is relatively mild and the kids seem to be dealing with it, there’s no need to get into it. Studies show that children who resolve fights themselves grow up to be tolerant adults in the future. And one study suggests that it can make you a better person.
So the next time your kids fight, even loudly, let them sort it out as long as there’s no physical threat or bullying.
2. Mediation but not control.
As parents, we love our children equally. But sometimes, we may not be able to show equal treatment when kids fight. You may, inadvertently, end up taking one of the children on the side of the other children, leading to more resentment in the process.
If the fight is ugly and you get into it, don’t take sides. Instead, encourage the children to talk to each other. Define the problem as small, medium, or very large. Ask your children to find solutions to the problem and help them come to an agreement on their own.
3. Pin it to revisit later.
Children are quicker to get angry than adults, but it also means that they are quicker to move on and forget everything too. If you can see the controversy going on without any beneficial results, put a pin in the fight.
Ask the kids to take a break, get some space, and take time off from fighting and each other. Involve the children in doing something else for a while. Revisit the topic in a bit, when things are calmer and the kids forget their explosive feelings.
4. Move outside to take a break.
A great way to avoid fights in the first place is to let the kids out, exercise and let off some steam. With the epidemic, children have been locked inside for a long time. If you notice signs of awkwardness, ask them to go play ball in the park or ride their bikes. Join them if you have the time.
A child who burns strength through physical exercise will be less likely to get into fights and more interested in having a warm meal and having some quality time.
5. Spend time with each child on an individual basis.
Every child is completely different, like chalk and cheese. You don’t have to treat your children as equals, but you do have to treat them fairly. If one of them wants to watch a movie while the other wants to enjoy a book, let them spend their time with me. For rewards and gifts, make sure each child gets what they like, rather than the same.
Children of different ages and genders may have a range of issues that they would like to talk to you about, individually. Make time, as a mother, father, or caregiver for each child. Talk or just spend time with them, do whatever you like to bring family ties closer.
6. The same discipline subsidy.
While you may not take sides or interfere too much, there are times when you will need to exercise discipline as a parent. Forget getting into who started the fight. When siblings fight, discipline them all. Time lapses, grounding, writing down their feelings, picking chores out of the work urn; Whatever suits you and your family dynamics.
7. Take pleasure out of the fight.
A lot of times, kids fight because they love the attention and spotlight they get. Your youngest child or children may be playing the victim for this very reason.
The next time your kids are arguing over trivial matters, ignore them. Look at boredom, apathy if you can, and let them sort it out. But when they do something nice to each other, make it a big deal. This will take the fun out of the fights and make the children understand that the more they cooperate and coexist in harmony, the more praise and attention they will receive.
8. Understand sibling dynamics.
There are times when kids get along really well, only to be at each other’s throat the next moment. With children, stages come and go, and a lot of it has to do with their ages. So whether it’s two kids or an entire family, the dynamics of siblings are constantly changing, and as parents, you have to go with the flow.
Every child is an individual with likes and dislikes of constantly changing hormones, so the dynamics between them will constantly change. As parents, we can only provide a foundation for a healthy, long-term relationship by providing the positive reinforcement of family values and the common good.
9. Above all else, as a parent, keep calm.
Always remember that you are an adult. In any situation, no matter what your kids did, break, or hurt them in a sibling battle, you can’t just break in and start yelling and name calling. As long as the fight isn’t aggressive enough for you to immediately step in and break it up, pause and count to 10 before you enter.
Focus your emotions before you try to calm the kids to ensure things don’t escalate any further. They are the children and you are an adult, no matter how difficult or difficult the situation may be.
10. Science lists these reasons behind sibling fights.
While most of us were once siblings and had sibling rivalries, as parents, we always wonder why our kids fight so much.
Science lists a few reasons for these fights, and while they’re not surprising, they can lead to some insight if we, as parents, need to correct our behavior.
- Preferential treatment: Some cultures place more importance on one gender over the other, and this can lead to resentment and sibling fighting.
- Cry for Independence: Kids have a lot to do, whether it’s a preschooler or a teen. With raging hormones or limited social skills comes a battle for equality with their older or younger siblings. This means that there can be resentment and, accordingly, fights.
- Need Attention: Sometimes, siblings might quarrel with each other if they realize that this is one way to get your attention as parents. This is a need for love and your time more than actual fights.
- Individual temperaments: All children are different, even if they share the same genes. Disagreement between different individuals living in close proximity to one another is normal, as long as it is well-intentioned.
- Parenting method: Children learn how to solve arguments from you. If they see that you fight as parents and take it easy, they will also learn to do the same.
What tricks do you use to solve sibling battles in your family? Remember the hacks your parents used when you were a kid and you had siblings?
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