When a child struggles with anger, it’s difficult for both parents and children. Some kids quickly grow irritated. They burst because of apparently insignificant events. They’re screaming. They might become violent, too.
It is important to teach them the skills they need to cope with their emotions in a healthy way if your child has angry outbursts, and particularly if the frustration of your child interferes with their relationships and quality of life. A mental health professional’s advice can also be very helpful.
Teach Your Child About Feelings:
Kids are more likely to lash out when they don’t understand or are unable to verbalize their feelings. A child who cannot say “I’m angry!” May try to show that by lashing out they’re angry. Or to get your attention, a child who is unable to perceive or explain why they’re sad can misbehave.
“Start by teaching simple feeling terms such as “bad,” “sad,” “happy,” and “scared,” to help your child learn to recognize and mark feelings. Label the feelings of your child for them by saying, “Right now, it looks like you feel very angry.” They will learn to label their own emotions over time.
Teach them more sophisticated feeling terms, such as upset, disappointed, worried, and lonely, as your child gains a greater understanding of their feelings and how to explain them.
Create an Anger Thermometer
Anger thermometers are instruments that help children understand the signs that their frustration is rising. Draw on a piece of paper with a big thermometer. Start with 0 at the bottom and fill in up to 10 numbers, which should land at the top of the thermometer. Zero means “no anger at all.” on an anger thermometer. A 5 means “a medium amount of anger,” and 10 means “the most anger ever.”
Speak about what happens in your body at and number on the thermometer at a time when your child is not feeling frustrated or angry. Your child might claim they’re smiling when they’re at level 0, but when they hit level 5, they have a crazy face. When they are at 2, they might feel their face getting hot and when they are at 7, they might make fists with their hands. They can feel like an angry monster by the time they get to 10.
Using the thermometer helps children learn to understand the frustration as it happens. Eventually, they can make the correlation that taking a break can help them calm down as their rage temperature begins to rise.
Develop a Calm-Down Plan
When they start getting frustrated, teach children what to do. For example, they may go to their room or a designated “calming corner.” instead of throwing blocks when they’re upset.
If they feel better, allow them to draw, read a book, or participate in another relaxing activity. Perhaps you might even build a calm-down package. This could include the favorite coloring books of your child and some crayons, a nice book to read, stickers, a favorite toy, or good-smelling lotion.
You should say, “Go get your calm-down kit.” when they’re frustrated. This helps your child to take responsibility for calming themselves down.
Teach Anger Management Techniques
Teaching them unique anger management strategies is one of the best ways to support a child who feels frustrated. For example, taking deep breaths will relax the mind of your child and his or her body when they are upset. It may also be helpful to go for a short walk, count to 10, or repeat a helpful word.
Teach other talents, such as abilities for impulse control and self-discipline, as well. To help exercise those talents when they’re frustrated, some children need a decent amount of coaching.
Avoid Giving In to Tantrums
Children learn that angry outbursts are an efficient way of fulfilling their needs. They will learn that temper tantrums are successful if a child throws a temper tantrum and their parents give them a toy to keep them quiet. To avoid a breakdown, don’t give in to your kids. Although this may be simpler in the short term, giving in would only make behavioral issues and violence worse in the long run. Instead, work with your child to communicate so that they feel more secure that their needs will be addressed.
Follow Through With Consequences
To help your child understand that violence or disrespectful conduct is not appropriate, consistent discipline is essential. If your child violates the rules, follow up every time with a penalty.
Efficient disciplinary techniques may be time-out or taking away privileges. Make them fix it or do activities to raise money for repairs if your child breaks anything while they are upset.
Avoid Violent Media
If your child exhibits aggressive behavior, the issue can be intensified by exposing them to violent TV shows or video games. Focus on introducing them to books, sports, and showing strong conflict solving skills as a model.
Children do not like feeling furious or experiencing violent outbursts. They also respond to anger and an incapacity to handle their own great feelings. It will have a positive effect on their lives at home and at school to help your child learn to react appropriately to anger and other negative emotions. Ask your child’s pediatrician or school counselor for assistance if you’re struggling.
Don’t Yell at or Challenge Your Child During an Angry Outburst
By challenging their children and screaming back, parents frequently struggle with angry outbursts. But this is only going to improve the sense of being out of control. Staying calm in a crisis is the only thing you can do. Think of it this way: even if you get into a car accident and the other driver gets out and is angry at you, they will hopefully begin to relax and be rational if you can keep calm. But if in an angry response, you come back to them and say, ‘What you’re talking about, that was your fault,’ the stress just stays at that heightened spot.
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