How to deal with jealousy between siblings
The jealousy between siblings is very common, but it always causes tension in the family. Here are ten tips to deal with it in the best possible way!
The relationship between siblings in childhood isn’t always easy: It’s common for the eldest son to see that new little person arriving at their home and getting a lot of attention, who was once on their own. And later, the younger sometimes realize that the bond between brother and father is already very strong. So there is no way, one day jealousy will show up and it will have to be dealt with.
Here are some tips you can keep in mind to raise the white flag at home and show the little ones that love is so great that there is no room for jealousy in the family!
1. Get support when your new baby arrives
A newborn needs a lot of attention, and when there is still a small child in the house, it is very important to have a support network. Having both parents at home helps for the first few weeks, but it is best to have people nearby to help nurture and care for the older child during this time.
2. Make your child a part of modernity
One of the problems with having a new baby is that the older child may feel neglected, but this is less likely to happen if he or she is involved in the whole process. Let him help you choose the name of your brother or sister, teach him to hold your legs during a nappy change, show him how important it is … All this helps in the dynamics of the house.
3. Explain that you love them both
Even before your little brother is born, start explaining to your child that the love you have for him will never change, on the contrary, it will only grow! Say that my little brother will love you very much, too. Give an example by comparing the love he feels for both parents (or other family members), showing that there is no such thing as “loving one another more than another.”
4. Give special attention from time to time
Spending time with family is always fun, but what about developing the relationship with your children individually as well? It’s ideal for mom and dad to take a few moments to give each child special attention: this will reduce sibling jealousy and make each child feel unique.
5. Remember that an older child is still a small child
When the younger child comes home, sometimes parents place a huge responsibility on the older children by telling them to act like “good guys or girls.” However, until recently they were home children. Therefore, scolding in this way can make the child internalize the bad feelings. The key is to understand what it is you want to behave in a childish manner and to take an interest in fulfilling those desires.
6. Avoid comparing siblings
Dangerous fuel for fueling sibling jealousy is to keep comparing the two, like saying one is better at such a task than the other. This puts siblings on opposite sides and encourages the feeling that they need to strive to be better than others.
7. Practicing unity among children
Creating games where you need each other is a great way to bring your kids together. Encourage the collaborative spirit by showing that when they act together, they are more likely to win a game or convince their mother to let them watch a cartoon on TV, for example.
8. Valuing children’s personality
It doesn’t matter how much they share the same genes, no child is like another child so it’s not a good idea to tell a kid to act like their little brother or make it as food just because the other kid likes it. One of the little ones will feel deprived and this feeds jealousy. Instead, focus on what is good for each person or what needs improvement, and avoid comparisons.
9. Know the mood of each child
Quiet kids often tend not to demand a lot of attention, but that doesn’t mean they don’t want it or they don’t miss it. Always be attentive and ready to give affection to your child, even if he is conservative and does not ask for it.
10. Pay attention to the frequent fights
Children cannot hide when they are jealous, so parents can identify situations that put their children in the opposite position. Work on this problem until both feel safe and appreciated.
It is calm! Sibling jealousy is part of the relationship.
If your kids are going through a bit of jealousy, don’t blame yourself or think that this only happens at home. Many families don’t show or comment on this, but the vast majority of siblings go through stages like this in childhood.
The way is to foster dialogue, show affection and care, and always encourage sibling partnership. Thus, they will become partners and friends for life.
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