Questions and Answers: This is how you face your fears in raising children of all ages!
Raising a child is a tough job. It’s a full-time job, a 24-hour job, and a 365 days a year job. It’s also not easy.
You have to juggle managing their needs, expectations, and desires while also trying to maintain your own sanity.
In this post, we’re going to focus on the fears that parents often face in raising children of all ages.
We will address these common concerns so you can find relief from worry and feel better equipped for what lies ahead.
How do I deal with the pressure?
Everybody expects you to raise the perfect child who gets good grades in school, volunteers for various clubs, is well-liked by peers, is kind to animals, never has an attitude problem, and never fails at anything.
Your parents probably tried to fill your head with some of these expectations.
“You must be good”, “You should try to be the most interesting person on the planet”, “Go out there and conquer the world”.
The funny thing is, none of these things are the goal of being a parent. Instead, the goal is to provide a good life for your child. I’m not saying you shouldn’t challenge your child at every opportunity, I’m just saying that your kids are going to naturally grow up and discover who they really are.
What is my role as a parent?
This question should come with a brief discussion of what it is we mean when we talk about parenting.
Parenting is a broad term that encompasses anything that relates to the upbringing of a child from infancy to adulthood.
So, if we’re talking about the emotional growth and development of a child from infancy to age 2, then we’re not actually parenting per se; we’re parenting emotionally.
For kids up to age 10, we’re parenting them through the emotional development phase. We’re teaching them how to express their needs, respond to others, and meet their needs for more resources.
For teens, we’re training them to navigate the physical, social, and emotional aspects of their lives.
We’re teaching them how to navigate relationships, health, and the college application process.
What does it mean for me to be a good parent?
Every parent hopes and plans to be a good parent but in a society that tells us to constantly be in pursuit of happiness and to be always productive in our careers, raising children can be a full-time job without any recognition.
Our job as parents is to provide a safe, nurturing environment where our children can grow, learn, and thrive.
However, most parents don’t receive any paid time off or even a vacation. This is often not a realistic expectation that we set for ourselves.
So, to save ourselves from feeling like we aren’t doing our jobs, we often forget about the joys of parenting and just focus on doing it, fast and furious.
However, is that really the best way to parent?
How does my parenting style affect my child’s future?
Every child is born with a set of personality traits, or one might say habits, that can be traced back to the way that their parents raised them.
These personality traits are called neuroplasticity and are influenced by genetics, learning, and environmental factors.
Researchers believe that because these traits are genetic, that a person’s parenting style can affect his/her children’s future and result in how their children turn out.
It is a belief that is still debated by many scientists. In order to learn more about neuroplasticity, you can start here. In the article “Psychological Parenting For Healthy Kids”, psychologist Terri Orbuch discusses how we can change and shape our children’s personality traits through the parenting style that we practice.
What are the benefits of being a parent?
No one will ever love your children more than you do. Parents have the power to shape their children’s lives.
This power enables parents to choose what kind of parents they will be. Do you want to be strict and a strict parent or fun and loving parent? Do you want to be goody-two-shoes and your child’s favorite person in the whole world or their biggest bully in the whole world? These are all questions that can ultimately determine the kind of parent you will be.
Having children means having the responsibility to see to their well-being. And that’s why it’s hard to let go sometimes, isn’t it? Letting go means dealing with reality.
It means having to realize that children will not always listen to their parents.
Let me tell you a secret. Every parent has fears and worries about raising their child.
It may not be everything you’re afraid of (we get that), but it will most certainly make you feel better about things as you overcome them and come out stronger and better for it all.