Mistakes you may make in raising your children

Just as parents share their aspirations and expectations for their children, they also share some of the educational mistakes they make. Do you think you would commit any of these mistakes?

Mistakes you may make in raising your children

Who among us does not wish to raise their children optimal education? However, there are some educational errors that a large number of parents make. We found it appropriate to warn you of the most common mistakes in education

Excessive praise and positive reinforcement

It is important for us to always pay attention to our children’s motivators to do the tasks required of them.

Using expressions such as “good boy” and “nice girl” all the time as positive reinforcement causes the child to become the only one who has to do the tasks, which is why he fails to do so when she is not there.

On the other hand, as parents, we have to remind the child of convincing and logical reasons for our requests, for example: “Brush your teeth to keep them healthy without cavities.”

In the case of this example, you are creating in the child a conviction that he will keep brushing his teeth regardless of whether you are around him or not.

Screaming and anger

Life must have the challenges that sometimes make it difficult for us to control our nerves in front of our children, so we resort to yelling at them when angry. But you will be surprised when you realize that screaming offers only immediate solutions, but creates bigger problems later on.

In fact, when we shout at our children, they enter a state of alert and anxiety, as if danger is staring at them, which makes their pulse fast and their senses limited, so they are unable to comprehend what we are saying.

Screaming may make them comply with our requests in an instant, but studies indicate that children lose their desire to cooperate and listen over time when they are dealt with through yelling, and s.

Overprotecting your child

In the end, our goal in raising children is to give them tools and prepare them for life, to be independent and productive individuals in it, which means that they have to succeed in collecting their rights and needs on their own.

Excessive protection of the child reflects on him as if we are telling him that he is unable to manage his affairs alone, which leads to a decrease in his self-confidence.

Be a listening ear to your child, and give him the opportunity to resolve his affairs on his own, but always be ready for support and wise help when he asks for it.

Punishment

What exactly do we gain when we punish our children? The child will obey our commands during the period close to punishment, but they will not understand the real consequences of the mistake they have committed, and as soon as they forget the punishment they will repeat the mistake again.

Studies have shown the extent of the negative moral dimension that punishment carries for the child, especially corporal punishment. The studies also reflected the extent of the chasm created by punishment between children and parents.

As an alternative to punishment, errors can be treated as cause and effect, or as a duty to take responsibility for actions:

For example: “Because you didn’t heed the advice not to play soccer indoors, you broke the vase, you have to take this responsibility and think of a way to save some money to get a replacement.”

Reducing the number of feelings and reassurance

Your child did not succeed in the final race of the swimming session, crying a lot? Hug him and admit how distressed he feels: “I know you’re sad, that’s normal, but you’ll succeed in future cycles.”

Refrain from using expressions such as “nothing happened” or “the children just cry when you’re old.” The child needs to feel the legitimacy of his feelings in order to succeed in dealing with them without feeling guilty or inferior.

It is necessary that the child’s feelings do not conflict with the values ​​on which he was brought up, lest this create doubts about himself and his identity.

The child demands our expectations

Parents often go to put their children in the position of competition, which makes them compare all the time between them and others. While they go elsewhere to design complete expectations around them.

Parents today tend to overvalue their children according to their educational attainments, while educational attainments reduce a whole world of individual child excellence to a very narrow set of skills.

On the other hand, we have to understand the world of our child and his real areas of excellence and work to develop them in accordance with his desire, for excellence in fact stems from personal desire and internal motivation, not external stimuli.

Arguing in front of a child about his upbringing

It is natural that the mother and father will find themselves at crossroads with regard to raising the child, in which they will have to make decisions about the educational vision of the child.

It is necessary that the arguments and discussions between the mother and father take place in their closed room and not in the ears of the child, as he is a very intelligent being and can use the gaps between points of view to turn situations in his favor.

In addition, the multiplicity of viewpoints in education may confuse the child’s mind about the values ​​that he must fully adopt, so the parents’ assessment remains alone while the decisions are explained to the child in one word and one conviction.

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