Dealing with stubborn kids is a struggle for parents as it is a daily battle to get them to do even simple tasks such as taking a bath, having a meal, or going to bed. Unintentionally, parents foster adamant behavior in children by giving in to their tantrums.
To show them that their action does not work is the best way to deal with a stubborn child. For the desired result, pay attention to their good behavior. MomJunction has listed a few tips to help deal with a stubborn boy.
A Stubborn Child’s Characteristics
Not every child who practices free will is obstinate. Before any hard action is taken, it is crucial to consider whether your child is stubborn or determined. Highly intelligent and imaginative children may be strong-willed. They ask a lot of questions, which might sound like a revolt. “They have views and are “doers”. Stubborn children, on the other hand, stick to their opinions and are not prepared to listen to what you have to say.
Here are a few other features that stubborn kids can have
To be known and heard, they have a clear need. So, they may always seek your attention.
- They may be fiercely autonomous.
- They are committed to doing what they want and bent on doing it.
- All children throw tantrums, but it can be done more frequently by stubborn ones.
- They have good leadership qualities-at times they can be “bossy”.
- In their own speed, they want to do stuff.
- It may be difficult to handle a stubborn boy, but it is not all evil.
Psychology of the Stubborn Child: Knowing Stubborn Children
If a determination is one of your powerful suits, you would also love to see that in your kids. But understanding the difference between determination and stubbornness is the tricky part. So how are you going to say one from the other?
‘Firmness of intent’ is the dictionary sense of determination.
Stubbornness is described in a specific way as having an unwavering determination to do something or act. Simply put, regardless of the external pressure to do so, it is refusing to modify one’s feelings, attitudes, or acts.
Stubbornness may be inherited or a learned trait in children due to environmental factors.
Dealing with stubborn children can take extra patience and effort, as you need to carefully observe and understand the pattern of behavior of your child. First, we’re going to give you a few ideas that might help deal with stubborn kids.
Tips That Might Help To Deal With Stubborn Children
the time you try to feed them, you can have a stubborn toddler who refuses to sit in their crib or brushes aside their cereal spoon. Or you may have a six-year-old bullheaded man who insists every day on wearing the same clothes and stomps his foot to defy every law or order you give them. Here are some ideas that might come in handy when dealing with your child’s stubborn nature.
Try to listen
A two-way street is a contact. You have to be able to listen to them first if you want your child to listen to you. Kids who are stubborn can have strong beliefs and prefer to argue.
If they feel like they aren’t being heard, they can become defiant. Most of the time, listening to them and having an open discussion about what’s bothering them will do the trick when your child insists on doing or not doing anything. For instance, If your child throws a tantrum at the end of lunch, do not force-feed your child. Instead, ask them why they don’t want to eat and listen-it could be because they have a tummy ache or are playful.
Try to proceed calmly and practically and not head-on if you want your stubborn five-year-old child to listen to you.
connect with them, don’t force them
When you force kids, they appear to revolt and do all they shouldn’t do. Counter will, which is a common characteristic of stubborn kids, is the word that describes this action. Counter-will is instinctive and is not limited to children alone. Connecting with your kids. For example, it will not help to force your six-year-old boy, who insists on watching TV, to help. Sit with them instead and express interest in what they watch. Children are likely to respond when you show you care.Kids that bond with their parents or caregivers want to work together. In her book Parenting Without Power Struggles, Susan Stiffelman says, “Establishing an unshakable connection with defiant kids makes it easier to deal with them.”
Take the first step today to communicate with your kids – hug them!
Give them options
Stubborn kids might have their own minds and don’t always want to be told what to do. Tell your stubborn four-year-old kid that by 9 pm she must be in bed, and all you’re going to get from them is a loud “No!”. Tell you’re adamant five-year-old kid to buy your chosen toy, because they’re NOT going to want it. Give choices and not orders to your kids. Ask them if they’d like to read bedtime stories A or B, instead of asking them to go to bed.
“Your child might go on being defiant and say, “I’m not going to bed! ”. If that happens, remain calm and tell them “well, that was not one of the choices” matter-of-factly. As many times as appropriate, and as calmly as possible, you should say the same thing. Your child is likely to give in when you sound like a broken record.
That said, too many options are also not healthy. Asking your child to select one outfit from the wardrobe, for instance, could leave them confused. By reducing the choices to two or three outfits chosen by you and asking your child to choose from them, you can avoid this issue.
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