I found the nature of curiosity in the hearts of children since their childhood, this is natural, you find them trying to defy the laws and discover everything new, and parents must be patient and flexible in raising children, dealing with them, and trying to control them.
Boundaries create the necessary discipline in every home, as the goal of discipline is to help children choose acceptable behaviors and learn self-control, to grow their being in a healthy way and to become responsible adults, so setting clear child-rearing rules at home helps children understand the expectations of parents and develop self-control.
Raising a child: defining boundaries in the relationship between children and parents
The boundaries in the relationship between children and parents are defined in the upbringing of the child, which is the line drawn by the parents between them and their child or children in the family, and through which they determine the powers and limits of each of the parties based on clear communication and communication.
The boundaries set by the parents in raising the child may be soft, loose, or strict, and inflexible. In both cases, the relationship established by the parents is unhealthy. If these boundaries are:
Too soft, power will pass into the hands of the children, the roles are reversed to take control of the house, and the family may be chaotic.
Too strict and inflexible, the full power and control will remain in the hands of the parents, but in this case, the extreme firmness creates a state of pressure and lack of communication between the two parties, the parent and the child, and thus the child resorts to rebellion, disobedience and aggressive behavior generated from secrecy.
Boundaries within the family are complex and constantly changing, we do not want loose or inflexible borders, but rather seek moderation in creating a healthy relationship between the child and his parents, which allows for effective and appropriate communication and the sharing of forces between both parties.
Child-rearing: How do you create healthy boundaries with your children?
Here are a set of important rules that help establish boundaries in the relationship between you and your children during child-rearing in the following:
Draw your boundaries, family values, and house rules
The first step is for the parents to be clear with themselves regarding the values and rules of the family during the upbringing of the child. to answer:
What are the most important things in life?
What are your family values and what are your house rules?
Be clear with your child and make clear commands, such as:
Prevent hitting, kicking, or calling parents by name.
Correct behavior during lunch and meals.
Time allowed to watch TV or video games.
Your child needs to know who you are and what you believe in. This means that you communicate your personal principles to your child and stick to them in front of them. Children follow and imitate what they see from their parents, which leaves an impact more than just talking to be a good example to your children.
Tell your child what to expect from him
You can always make a list of the values you care about and expect your child to respect. For example, if one of these principles is respect, let your child know. If your child continues to treat you rudely and calls you by your name, let him know the consequences if he continues to act like this.
Make him see that you respect your person and therefore he will respect you as well. In this way, you are not forcing him to respect you by force, but you leave him the freedom to choose, but he will be responsible for the outcome of his decision and will be held accountable for it.
When you set certain limits you have to bend to your child’s level, look him in the eyes, and simply and calmly tell him what you expect from him, this way you are very clear in your message for your child to receive.
For example, before entering the store, explain to your child that you will enter the store to buy a “sandwich” because you are hungry and will not buy sweets. topic every time.
Let your child experience the consequences of crossing boundaries through punishment
Make your children experience the effect of breaking and violating laws. If you have broken the law in turn, admit it and apologize to them and bear the consequences of your actions as a parent. Make your child do the same. If he violates the laws, make him admit his mistake and hold him accountable for his action by bearing the consequences.
The methods of punishment during raising a child differ from one family to another. Some of them follow the method of warning or “timeout” and the angle of the rioters or the loss of privileges.
For example, suppose you promised your child that you would take him to the cinema when he finished his homework but he chose to play video games instead of doing his homework. Be serious about what you say and mean what you say, and then he will respect the agreement between you and abide by it.
One of the common mistakes parents make while raising a child is not following up on the child and holding him accountable if he errs often. You cannot discipline children by talking to them once and ignoring it the next day so be consistent on your principle so that the child learns from you.
Reward your child
Let your kids experience the fun of obeying the rules, too. Achieving discipline does not apply only to the application of punishment, but the best way to reach the heart of the child is by observing and praising his good behavior.
For example, say to your child: “I am proud of you for sharing your toys with your friends.” These phrases motivate the child to perform his duties, so:
Be generous in motivating your child during the parenting stages. “I made your bed without even asking, you’re a great person.” These statements are more effective than the idea of punishment itself.
Make your way into his heart by praising him for his good behavior every day.
Interpret your requests to the children
Don’t expect your children to be disciplined just because you are their parent, they need and deserve an explanation just as much as adults.
If you do not explain the reason for your request, the children will doubt the values and principles you encourage and adopt. Parents who follow the method of explanation with their children deepen their thinking and make them convinced of the importance of these laws, so:
Let your explanation be clear and if there is a problem explain it, express your feelings and invite your children to participate in the search for a solution to this problem.
Be clear about your children’s consequences as well, offer some suggestions and options, and be open to their suggestions as well.
Be negotiable and listen. Children who contribute to shared decisions are motivated to stick to those decisions.
Raising a child: a healthy relationship in front of and with children
Let’s face the truth. Children are always trying to push boundaries. It’s in their nature. Even parents can overstep the boundaries they set for themselves.
Parents are the face of love and discipline. They must maintain this balance by defining principles and responsibilities, maintaining their role as parents, and not overstepping the boundaries set during the child’s upbringing.
Here are some examples of a healthy relationship in front of and with children:
Do not share with your children the conversations that are circulated in the adult circle, such as problems of friends and relatives, problems of relationships, and others.
Enjoy shared activities with your child and play with them but always be aware not to lose your authority as a parent.
Allow your child to share his or her views and contributions to the various family activities by creating an atmosphere of common family goals while maintaining your position as the parent in making the final decision.
Give your child the appropriate opportunity, which corresponds to his age, to start making his own decisions and gradually build his skills in this during childhood.
Maintain a strong bond of love and understanding between parents in front of children, and children should not be involved in disputes and problems between them.
Be assertive when required during child-rearing. The child needs discipline and discipline. Rehearse and practice different strategies and methods to prevent the child’s behavior from getting out of control.
Do not overburden and impose laws on your child to control him. Use these laws in moderation and a consistent, balanced manner and flexible at other times.
Raising a child: the relationship with your child according to his age
The age group of your child plays a major role in determining the way you deal with him. The older the child, the more his requirements change. The parents are forced to respond to this change and follow a different parenting style that suits his age. The method you follow in raising the child now may not be effective after two years, for example.
If your child is under the age of five, for example, it is entirely up to you to impose an environment and regulations regarding eating, sleeping, and playing, and the child needs constant monitoring and supervision until the age of ten.
Teenagers, for example, are always looking for their independence to integrate with their peers, but make sure you are there to guide, encourage and discipline your child when needed, give him his own space to feel independent, and make sure to take opportunities to create effective communication between you, the child needs to see how he can fit Make a mistake instead of listening to long lectures, and make discipline a habit.