Causes of marital problems after childbirth
The transformation from a married couple to a family of three or more, carries a lot of changes to married life from the first moment, so how is married life affected? Read the article to know more.
Married life after childbirth: how is it affected?
The young child brings with him challenges and responsibilities that require a high degree of understanding and cooperation between the spouses, which may change what they were accustomed to in the past, especially during the first year of the child’s life. Go ahead with any problems they may encounter.
Causes of marital problems after childbirth
A number of factors play a major role in exacerbating problems between spouses after the birth of a child, such as:
1- Fatigue after childbirth
It is one of the biggest stress factors in the relationship between spouses immediately after birth. Lack of sleep can greatly affect daily life, so it is preferable to think of ways to control what happens, for example, when one of the parents feels tired as a result of sleep deprivation, on the other to Take care of the baby until he gets some rest.
2- Lack of time
Those hours that the couple used to spend in recreation, with family and friends, or doing household chores, have greatly decreased compared to the hours of caring for the newborn, which may lead to changes in marital life.
3- New expenses and costs
The arrival of the child can impose additional expenses that put more pressure on the spouses, and managing the family’s expenses needs to make adjustments to the previous lifestyle. Failure to adapt to this matter may lead to the emergence of differences that hide other issues, such as feeling pressure due to the responsibility of spending on a family, or loss of financial independence.
Whatever the reason that takes up the largest share of it for you, it is important to understand the reasons behind the tension in the relationship between the spouses after childbirth in order to deal with them in the right ways.
Dealing with changes after childbirth
With the arrival of the first child, a new individual becomes interested in the spouses, and some wives and husbands find this transition difficult because they are no longer the destination of the other party’s attention.
Some husbands may feel marginalized while the mother focuses on her young, and some women also feel that they are not important as everyone gathers around the newborn, meaning that her job in life has become to take care of the child, without receiving attention as a wife or a woman who has many rights that she used to enjoy it previously.
In these cases, it is important to realize that the roles will change and that this will affect the spouses, and the best way to deal with it is through continuous communication and talking about the challenges and feelings both parties face, as closing down will generate more distance, negativity, and tension.
Discuss joint parenting decisions
Some couples find that they have different opinions about how to raise children, and this causes conflicts that will not stop even after the young ones grow up. The child is a pacifier or not”, in a long argument between the spouses.
They discussed different educational methods before birth, and agreed on compromise solutions in case of disagreement, and continued to deal with these differences in viewpoints through dialogue and calm after the child was born because education has wide dictionaries and many theories, and if there are different opinions or methods for taking care of the child, this does not mean one of them is right and the other is wrong, and the most important thing is the interest of the child and not proof of the correctness of the opinion.
Sexual intercourse and intimacy between spouses
The physical or sexual relationship between spouses can go through great changes after childbirth. The mother suffers from exhaustion, postpartum effects, fatigue, and challenges in taking care of the child. The father also goes through exhaustion and tension, and a good period of time may pass before the two parties want to renew the sexual relationship. This greatly affects the relationship between spouses in general.
The best method here lies in patience, a sense of humor, understanding and acceptance, and the desire to find new ways to express love until both parties are fully prepared psychologically and physically.
Communication between spouses
Communication is one of the most important pillars of any successful relationship, and the importance of communication becomes more prominent after childbirth. If the couple finds a tense atmosphere, they must:
They make time to talk and talk when they are calm.
Listen to the other and understand his point of view.
Avoid criticism and blame.
Postpartum depression can affect both the mother and the father, and it greatly affects the marital relationship, especially if it is not diagnosed or understood, and communication is the only way that a couple can find out what they are going through, and provide support and help.
Ways to manage time after childbirth
The constant preoccupation with the new child may make the spouses forget that it is necessary to allocate time for each of them as individuals and for them as a couple, the matter is simple, if each of you is happy as an individual and happy with the other party, this will add a lot of happiness and ease to the responsibilities of caring for and raising children. And for that:
Make time for the two of you as a couple, reintroduce the activities you used to enjoy together into your new life, such as watching a movie or going out for a walk.
Going out for some time with friends, or with yourself for a hobby, or just to relax, has great benefits for both parents.
It’s a good idea to ask for help if responsibilities exceed your experience or energy.
Business and household tasks
Of course, the housework was present before the birth of the child, but there were no responsibilities to take care of a child by her side and with it the need to complete them as soon as possible, as they are things that can no longer be postponed, especially with a baby because it caused them to multiply.
It does not matter much how the spouses agree to do household chores, but it is important that they cooperate in getting it done. To cooperate in caring for the child, and if the husband is not accustomed to helping at home on his own, some of the explanation and identification of tasks that he can simply do will help a lot in overcoming any tension due to the accumulation of home responsibilities.
The first weeks and months of a child’s birth will be a period full of experiences and an opportunity to learn and gain experiences, and with patience, understanding, and communication, it will be a period full of unforgettable memories, and the relationship between the spouses will become stronger thanks to the bonds of sharing in the love and upbringing of their child.
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